SEPTEMBER 17, 1993 GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE 13

PSYCHED OUT

Coming out to your students: teacher style

by Mike Radice

Don't panic, just yet.

I'm not going to tell you to inform your students about your sex life, although I'm sure they'd pay to hear about it.

So, read on.

Mike Radice has a new "day job." I decided it was time to do something different, and life as a full-time private practice type guy just wasn't my thing. My practice is now a part-time moonlighting venture.

I am now the counseling psychologist for an area Catholic high school. For those of you who think they know me well, you're now in shock... but, it's true!

I didn't make it through the third day of school without having to deal with student questions about my sexual orientation. I guess the pink pumps and tiara gave me away.

Caught between my passion to wipe homophobia off the face of the earth, and my primal need for a paycheck, I figured out an uncompromising compromise.

On the third day of school, I was scheduled to speak with students during their religion classes. At the school, all students are required to take a religion class every year. The classes are grouped by grade level so that students move through their religious development with their same-age peers. This situation made the students into mini captive audiences, and allowed me to tailor my responses to their developmental levels. The purposes of my religious class visits were to introduce myself and my services, and to allow the students to get a "psychological feel" for the person they'd

be coming to with their innermost secrets. To help the students get to know me, I asked each of them to write down a minimum of three things they'd like to know about me, and to pass their questions to the front of the room. I would then "respond" to each question, regardless of its content.

Questions ranged from innocuous ones such as: "How old are you?" "Do you have any children?" "Why did you come to this school?" and "Where did you go to college?" Some of the more interesting questions included, "Do you wear leopard skin underwear?" "Do you take baths, or showers?" and "Do you prefer having sex on satin, or cotton sheets?"

Then came the “H” question. “Are you gay?" was a consistent question asked by each class.

When I was hired, I decided that I would leave the rainbow flag sticker on my car bumper, that I would confront homophobia whenever I encountered it, and that I would never deny that I was gay. I decided that I couldn't live with anything less. However, up until the point of my cameo religious class performances, I hadn't figured out how I would respond to students who asked me about my sexual orientation. Luckily, I'm a smart guy and am occasionally quick on my feet. When put on the hot seat, I managed to create a response that salvaged my paycheck, my dignity, and the selfconcepts of the gay students.

I told the students that they had asked me a very good question, and that I was glad that they had asked it. I continued by telling them that I had gay friends and family, and that I believed that all people were created

having equal value. I told them that I would provide all of them with professional, equal quality service regardless of their beliefs and life circumstances.

Now, the "gay" question. I informed them that if I told them I was gay, the school's gay students would appreciate my declaration because it would provide them with a much needed positive role model, and would help them feel good as a gay person. I then told them that my declaration might also lead to my becoming a victim of violence committed by homophobic students, because gay people are frequently singled out as targets for violence by people who are afraid of them.

I continued by telling them that ifI claimed to be straight, the message would be sent that I thought that gay people were evil, and that being gay was a substandard way of life, which wasn't true, and that my response might hurt the feelings of gay students. I also told them that many gay people jump at the chance to distance themselves from the gay label out of the fear of violence, and that their declaration of "straighthood" would therefore be, of course,

untrue.

I concluded the discussion by telling them that they would never know my sexual orientation, and that the question is irrelevant. My sexual orientation would have nothing to do with how I served them as students, and that they could all expect equally good service.

At that point the religion teacher offered verbal support for my position, and made positive statements about gay people. The students then redirected their interests to the other questions.

It's now a week later, and the issue is dead. They're beginning to turn to me to help them chart the waters of their lives, and my car still has four functioning tires. The homophobic students know that I won't tolerate oppression of gay students. The gay students now have somewhere to turn. The seeds of tolerance and community unity have been planted. Already, one student (whom I suspect is gay) has approached me and stated that I was the best counselor he has ever known. It's a start. Now it's your turn.

Mike Radice is a Cleveland psychologist, specializing in working with children.

I met a guy this weekend who said he's into B&D. What is B&D!?...

ASK DR. RUBY 9

Send your questions about sex, safer sex, and matters of the heart to Dr. Ruby c/o the Health Issues Taskforce, 2250 Euclid Avenue, Cleveland, Ohio 44115

HEY THERE. REMEMBER ME? BUDDIES 1983?

THE MEN'S ROOM?

HEHEN

SLAM

THE MOSTLY UNFABULOUS SOCIAL LIFE ETHAN GREEN...

YOUR SORDID PAST REVISITED...

BLECH

IT WAS THAT UGLY PERIOD JUST AFTER YOU HAD STARTED GOING OUT REGULARLY TO THE BARS... YOU HADN'T HAD SEX IN 300 YEARS. YOUR BED'S TAUNTS WERE INCESSANT DEMEANING.

THE MOST ACTION I GET

IS WHEN HE MOVES ME TO VACUUM,

SHUT UP, OR I

BUY A FUTON.

HE CLUB YOU FREQUENTED SMELLED LIKE POPPERS + COLOGNE IT WAS VERY DARK. YOU SHUD. dERED TO THINK WHAT LURKED IN ITS SHADOWS...

AXE MURDERER

FEDERAL JUDGE

AT CLOSING TIME, THE HUNGRY EYES OF GEEKY, SEX STARVED DES PERADOS WOULD DART FURTIVELY FROM GUY TO GUY SEEKING SOME ONE TO TAKE HOME.

HE PICKINGS WERE SLIM

BORED COUPLES

LOOKING TO USE YOUR BODY FOR 2 NIGHT'S SEXUAL AMUSEMENT.

FRIEND OF YOUR PARENTS

SOME?

HANDSOME BISEXUALS.

C'MON WE'LL HAVE SEX, THEN PLAYMIND GAMES.

I TOLE

1992 by Eric Onner EVEN WHEN YOU DID GET"Lucky"," THINGS DIDN'T USUALLY WORK OUT: C'MON GUY, SAY SOMETHIN NASTY TO ME..

LIKE WHAT?

LIKE ANY THING, JUST MAKE IT NASTY

BEK

Luv ME

NOT IF You WERE THE LAST BAGUY ON

THE PLANET

CLOSETED, TAP-DANCING, PENTAGON SPOKESPERSONS.

NOBOBY KNOWS I'M MRS. TRUMAN

HIM TO FIRE

MAC ARTHUR

BUT DID

HE LISTEN?

NO SUH! TINOW

NOW

RANDOM BESS" LUNATICS HE SAYS

WELL.. UM... OKAY..

I HATE YOUR HAIR. YOUR BODY'S UNATTRACTIVE,AND, BASED ON OUR SUPER FICIAL CONVERSATION BACK AT THE BAR, I THINK YOU'RE

DUMB...

ASSHOLE!

HOT WHAT HE HAD

IN MIND.

THANKS TO MARK ELLER, JAY WERNER...

GUESS THAT

Dykes To Watch Out For

the

Big Day

1993 BY ALISON BECHDEL

MONDAY MORNING....

170

ARE YOU SURE? MAYBE WE SHOULD CALL THE MIDWIFE! MAYBE I SHOULD STAY HOME!

THAT AFTERNOON AT THE CO-OP...

...98 CENTS MO! HI! APOUND

WHAT'RE YOU UP TO?

CLARICE, IT WAS JUST ONE CONTRACTION TWO HOURS AGO! I'M NOT IN LABOR! WHAT'S THE MATTER? YOU GETTING COLD FEET ABOUT GOING TO COURT TODAY?

GOD, BABE! I'M SO NERVOUS! D'YOU THINK I CAN DO IT?

YEAH.

I DO.

CLINTON'S

POPULARITY

SLIPS AGAIN

OH, JEEZ! IM SORRY! WHAT A STUPID THING TO SAY... I GUESS YOU'RE PROBABLY REALLY SICK OF COMMENTS LIKE THAT, HUN? HOW INSENSITIVE OF ME TO...

JUKE SALE

HI, TONI! I'M JUST RUNNING ERRANDS ON MY DAY. OFF. WOW, YOU ARE REALLY BIG! YOU LOOK READY TO BLOW!

OKAY, THEN, HERE I GO. AFTER ALL, I'M THE BREADWINNER NOW GOTTA BRING HOME THE BACON. ANOTHER MOUTH TO FEED. FAMILY TO SUPPORT. ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OKAY?

I'M FINE! I'LL CALL YOU IF ANYTHING HAPPENS. NOW GET OUT OF HERE! I HAVE A MILLION THINGS TO DO. TO GET READY.

กะ

CAN YOU

Mo?

DO ME A FAVOR?

SURE, ANYTHING! WANT ME TO CARRY

AIR

THIS STUFF TO YOUR CAR?

LOVE YOU SO AUCH.

KISS

MMMM. BYE.

Yuk!!

WHOA!

YEAH. AND THEN I'D LIKE YOU

COOL.

TO DRIVE ME HOME. I THINK I'M IN

LABOR.

HOLY SHIT! SHOULDN'T WE CALL AN AMBULANCE OR SOMETHING

NAH, THAT'S JUST ON

TV. THE BABY'S NOT COMING FOR A LONG LONG TIME. JUST

RELAY, AND DRIVE CAREFULLY.

Co-Op

SQUEAL!

་་་Mད་་་